When you go off on your own to resist your society, much of what you do to imagine resisting has few social restraints. You are left to your own restraints. To whatever your sense of morality might be. To your ethics about how to treat others. That could be a very simple ethics: treat others as you would like to be treated. When you do that, set off on your own in opposition to what you see as the whole of what society does, then your speed along that path can be very swift. Your understanding, your development is fairly pure and clear, and thus not a mess of contradictions that fog the reality around you. In that way you become very much alone. You will see that if you do it, really do it.
One of the outcomes of disagreeing with what you may see about the society you live in can be an emotional response related to your own sense of self. It could be a sense of threat, a trigger of fears that can become the response we know as anger. Anger must be transformed or it will consume the growth of the self realizing mind. I’ll leave it at that. Simply, beware of your own anger and what it does to your mental state.
All feelings are systemic. Feelings are the fertilizers that grow the mind. Familiarity with your own feelings is the key to awareness. Logic and rational thinking, on the other hand, is only a tool for self management. Do not let the rational management factor of the mind become the driving force. Logic and rationality not subjected to the complexity of systemic thinking will become isolating if one has a desire of achieving a coherent wholeness of understanding. Logic in isolation seems clear and is thus very alluring. But logic and rationality lose coherence once applied to larger systems because they inevitably run into contradictions. That is both the beauty and the limitations of the problem solving rationally objective endeavor we call science. The end result of almost all logical efforts to understand the whole of the world is to create a concept like “godness”. God is simply the logical answer to the truth of our limits to understanding, and the allure of wanting to know that we know. To say we know we induce and thereby conclude that possibility of knowing with a word.
My epiphany came out of a dream I’d been having just before reveille. I was on the U.S.S. Sacramento and it was off the coast of Vietnam, Yankee Station, South China Sea. I remember the date, the approximate time. the moment. It was very simple, just a question: what would happen if we all simply just ceased following orders and walked away from the madness and followed our hearts?
Shortly after that moment, I thought something; it may be a poem. It goes like this:
Thought is an iron fist
Hold down long enough
something like a spring
if you can
you are not a child
I awoke this morning hearing a voice saying:
“Beware of the warrior Many Tongues whose mind is cluttered with things and he walks the earth in confusion, deep in his fear of the Great Spirit Emptiness, for he knows that without Emptiness there would be no-thing.”
I lay there a trying to remember the dream and the events that led up to that voice, and trying to visualize the face, but it wouldn’t come back to me. But I could still remember the phrase and the sound of the voice, so I reached for my leather bound journal on the nearby night stand, fumbled around for the pen, and I managed to write it down without losing the memory of it. It’s sometimes very hard for me to write down phrases I hear in dreams, they just vanish when I try.
The thoughts and feelings from that dream hung about me like a sheer gray curtain, as I got up and began my morning. I made my coffee, turned on the computer, and sat back for a moment, looked at the headlines on a news page, but I was not really reading them.
It seemed like a koan. “Without Emptiness there would be no-thing.” Just enough of a pause between the “no” and the “thing” to seem like two words, but said to sound like “nothing.”
Thoughts of the meaning of infinite and spirit crossed through my mind, like old memories, for I’d thought such thoughts many times. Yet somehow this dream phrase seemed freshly related. The age old corporeal problem, the spirit world and the ever emergence of things surrounded by space, or nothing, which ancient philosophers hypothesized to be composed of something, and now modern philosophers, in the form of physicists are imagining it to be something as well. But if infinity is unmeasurable, is there ultimately a something? Maybe the “great spirit” is no more than that which makes thought possible. And people have made up places where they can revere this seemingly amazing possibility, like the sense of awe some express after smoking some weed and then looking at an ordinary, everyday object as if for the first time, dragged forth on a long, thin line…